Umm I'm too high to move.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
