the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
