He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
