I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
