can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
