Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
