am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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