I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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