You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
