Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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