i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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