I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
