You're completely useless in the revolution.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
