Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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