oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
