this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Congratulations! We have a period
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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