every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize