Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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