I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
