i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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