I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize