i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
