so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
