I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
