this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do herpes really smell.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i've created a new STD.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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