have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
