If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
