her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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