Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
