yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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