he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
