It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
