you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
