A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
