oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize