So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
