im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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