ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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