East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
