called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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