dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
