what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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