The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
