At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
