He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Alive.
So much puke
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
