woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
