I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
