she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
