Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
