its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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