If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
