He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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