margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
