So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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