So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
even my farts smell like vagina
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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