Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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