drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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