i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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